Okay, bestie, let’s talk about something that’s probably messing with your head right now—those annoying AF limiting beliefs that pop up every time you’re this close to doing something amazing.
You know, like when you’re about to hit “submit” on that dream job application, and suddenly, your brain goes, “Umm, who do you think you are?”
Understanding Limiting Beliefs and Their Impact
Think of limiting beliefs as those persistent thoughts that put an invisible ceiling on your potential. They’re the voice in your head that says, “You’re not qualified enough” right before a job interview or “You’re terrible with money” every time you try to set a budget.
These aren’t just random thoughts—they’re deeply ingrained beliefs that shape how you move through the world.
Common Limiting Beliefs That Hold Women Back 💭
- “I need to be perfect at something before I can start.” (Hello, perfectionism!)
- Shows up when: Starting a business, changing careers, or dating again
- “I’m too old/young to make this change.”
- Shows up when: Career transitions, going back to school, or pursuing creative passions
- “I’m not good enough for that level of success.”
- Shows up when: Promotion opportunities, pitching clients, or public speaking
- “I can’t be both successful and a good mom.”
- Shows up when: Career advancement opportunities or starting a business
- “No one will take me seriously.”
- Shows up when: Leadership roles, sharing opinions in meetings, or setting boundaries
- “I need to lose weight before I can ____.”
- Shows up when: Dating, job interviews, or beach vacations
- “I’m not smart with money.”
- Shows up when: Investing, budgeting, asking for raises, or making big purchases
As you can see, limiting beliefs can affect so many areas of your life if you don’t work to get rid of them. The first step in banishing these unhelpful thoughts is to identify them.
How to Identify Limiting Beliefs
Let’s get real—sometimes identifying limiting beliefs feels like trying to spot air. They’re so woven into our daily thoughts that we might not even realize they’re there. Here are some telltale signs I’ve noticed in both myself and my clients:
1. The “But” Habit
When you have a dream or goal, do you immediately follow it with “but…”?
- “I’d love to start a business, but I’m not business-minded enough.”
- “I want to date again, but no one would be interested in a single mom.”
2. The Comparison Game
You constantly measure yourself against others and always come up short:
- “Everyone else seems to have it figured out.”
- “She’s so naturally confident—I could never be like that.”
3. The Always/Never Statements
Watch out for absolute statements about yourself:
- “I always mess up important presentations.”
- “I never finish what I start.”
What This Looks Like in Real Life:
- You talk yourself out of wearing that outfit because “You don’t look good in that style.”
- That promotion you want? You’ve already convinced yourself they’re looking for someone with “more experience.”
- You’ve been “about to start” that side hustle for approximately 84 years because “It’s not the right time.”
The Science Behind Limiting Beliefs
Let’s talk about what’s actually happening in your brain when limiting beliefs take hold. I promise to keep this simple and practical—because understanding how these thoughts work is the first step in changing them.
Every time you think a thought, your brain creates a pathway. The more you think that thought, the stronger the pathway becomes. That’s why limiting beliefs feel so automatic and true—you’ve thought them so many times that your brain goes there on autopilot.
But here’s the exciting part—your brain is incredibly adaptable. You’re not stuck with these thought patterns forever. Every time you challenge a limiting belief and replace it with a new thought, you create a new pathway in your brain.
At first, this feels hard (like trying to write with your non-dominant hand), but with practice, these new thoughts become your automatic way of thinking.
How Limiting Beliefs Form
Imagine you’re a tiny human (like, back in elementary school), and someone you really look up to—a teacher, a parent, or even a bully—says something like “You’re not good at math.”
Your young brain is like a sponge, soaking up everything, thinking, “Well, they must know what they’re talking about!”
Fast forward to now, and every time you look at a spreadsheet, that old voice pops up in your head.
But here’s the thing—that belief didn’t come from you. Someone else’s words are in your head, influencing your actions, often without you even realizing it.
Limiting beliefs can come from:
- Things people said to you (parents, teachers, relatives, friends, foes, etc.)
- Past disappointments or failures
- Other people’s opinions that you’ve internalized
- Experiences that left a mark (like that one terrible presentation)
- Cultural messages (don’t even get me started on beauty standards!)
- Comparing yourself to others (thanks a lot, social media!)
Limiting beliefs often feel like facts. But here’s the truth—they’re just stories you’ve learned to tell yourself. And just like you can learn a new story, you can unlearn the old ones that aren’t serving you anymore.
Why You Need to Banish Limiting Beliefs STAT!
Let’s be real—how many times have you talked yourself out of something fun because of some made-up rule in your head? “I can’t dance, I’ll look stupid.” “I shouldn’t take that solo trip, what if something goes wrong?” “I can’t wear that, people will judge me.”
All these limiting beliefs are causing you to miss opportunities, killing your confidence, impacting your relationships and stealing your joy!
Meanwhile, other people are out there living their best lives while you’re stuck overthinking. It’s time to kick those old, crusty beliefs to the curb and reclaim your main character energy.
Related: How to Manifest Anything: The Exact Formula for Getting What You Want
Strategies for Kicking Limiting Beliefs to the Curb
1. Go Detective Mode 🕵️♀️
Think of this like being a detective in your own life. You’re gathering evidence that proves your limiting beliefs wrong.
Start by creating what I like to call your “Actually, I’m Awesome” folder. This can be a note on your phone, a Google Doc, or even a physical journal.
Every time something happens that proves your limiting belief wrong – even tiny things – write it down.
Did someone compliment your work? Screenshot. Did you figure out how to do something you thought you couldn’t? Write it down. Did you survive a networking event without hiding in the bathroom? That goes in too!
Why this works: You’re literally building a case against your limiting beliefs.
Your brain loves evidence, and when you start collecting it intentionally, you’ll be shocked at how much proof you have that your limiting beliefs are straight-up lying to you.
The magic of this method isn’t just in collecting the evidence – it’s in training your brain to actually notice these moments. It’s like when you buy a new car and suddenly see that model everywhere. You’re programming your brain to spot evidence of your capability instead of your limitations.
2. Re-write the Script 📝
This isn’t about positive thinking or pretending everything’s great. It’s about being in control of your thoughts rather than being controlled by them. Here’s how it works:
First, catch that limiting belief in action. Write it down exactly as it shows up in your head. Maybe it’s “I’m not creative enough to start my own business.” Cool, we see you, sneaky thought!
Now, channel your inner toddler and ask “Why?” Keep asking until you get to the root. Usually, you’ll find that these beliefs are either:
- Completely outdated (like still thinking you’re bad at speaking up because you were shy in middle school)
- Borrowed from someone else (like your dad’s belief that “artistic people can’t make good money”)
- Based on one bad experience that you’ve turned into a life rule
Then comes the fun part – creating new, more helpful beliefs.
But here’s the key: they need to be believable. Don’t jump from “I’m not creative” to “I’m the next Van Gogh.”
Try something like “I’m learning to express my creativity in business” or “I can be both creative AND strategic.”
Write affirmations based on your limiting beliefs and say them to yourself daily and any time you feel yourself being a negative Nancy.
3. Challenge Yourself
This is where the rubber meets the road, girl. Knowledge is great, but action is where the magic happens. Think of it like working out – you can read about exercise all day, but at some point, you’ve got to move your body.
Start tiny. Like, really tiny. If your limiting belief is “I’m bad with money,” don’t start by trying to create a complex investment portfolio.
Start by checking your bank balance daily without judgment. Then maybe track your spending for a week. Small wins build confidence, and confidence is limiting beliefs’ kryptonite.
Create small challenges that, when completed, prove your limiting beliefs wrong. Make them so small it would be ridiculous not to try.
For example:
- If you think you’re “not a morning person,” set your alarm 10 minutes earlier
- If you think you’re “not good at networking,” commit to sending one LinkedIn message
- If you think you’re “not athletic,” do one yoga video on YouTube
Increase the intensity of the challenge over time, until it no longer feels like a challenge! If you fall off the horse, it’s okay!, Just brush the dirt off your butt and get back up on the saddle.
Wrapping It Up
Here’s what no one tells you about overcoming limiting beliefs: it’s not about becoming a completely different person. It’s about becoming more of who you already are beneath all those “I can’t” and “I’m not enough” thoughts.
You’ll have days when old beliefs creep back in. That’s normal. The goal isn’t to eliminate them forever—it’s to recognize them and refuse to let them control your decisions.
This work takes time, and that’s okay. Keep going. Your future self will thank you for starting today. 💛
