So you have been talking to this guy for a while now. You guys text and call every day and hang out but are not officially a couple. The problem is you want to be! You need to escape the dreaded talking phase of dating!
Dating culture nowadays is so annoying. Dating apps like Tinder make it so easy to find sex and physical pleasures that a lot of guys see no need to commit.
People stay in the “talking” phase for months so they can still talk and flirt with other people without it being cheating because they don’t officially have a girlfriend or boyfriend.
Sorry but I need to go on a little rant real quick.
I just want to say fuck the talking stage!
We need to bring commitment back to this generation. Sex is too readily available and genuine connections are fleeting. It is sad. Talking to my male co-workers let me understand how these guys are thinking.
One coworker told me how easy it is for him and his friends to get girls. “Buy them dinner a couple of times and you’re already getting nudes” “It’s so easy to get laid that you don’t need a girlfriend”
I WAS SHOOK.
So, just keep this in mind when you find a guy you want to get serious with! I am all for women sleeping with whoever they want but if you really like a guy perhaps playing hard to get is the way to go.
Anyway, back to our scheduled programming…
Now don’t try to rush out of the talking stage too fast either. If you have only been talking to a guy for a week, it may scare him off if you try to lock him down. The talking stage is an actual part of modern dating so here are some tips to keep you from going insane.
That said, if it has been a month or longer and you want to make the relationship more serious, you need to make that very clear to your guy.
Men can’t read between the lines so don’t hint at it. Say it straight up.
You need to have the “what are we” talk.
You might feel awkward or uncomfortable being direct and upfront about what you want but it’s time!
Have an honest conversation. You got it.
Tell the guy that you don’t want to be in this weird limbo space of more than friends but less than a girlfriend/boyfriend. And that you want to make things official.
After 5 dates or so, you guys should be able to determine if you like each other enough to want to make things official. If you are going on dinner dates constantly with someone, hanging out often and doing couple shit with them…that’s your boyfriend!
Don’t make my mistakes. I kept giving guys the boyfriend treatment without them being my official boyfriend. It only ended up hurting me in the long run.
If you can’t take being in the talking stage anymore, speak up. It is your every right! And if it’s keeping you from being happy you need to address it.
Hopefully, after your talk things will go like this…
But, if not, recognize that it is okay to leave this talking situation if your guy refuses to commit to you. If you’ve been talking for months and he can’t commit to you he is probably just enjoying the perks of having you but also wants to keep his options open.
Thank you, NEXT.
If you are looking for love, you’ll need someone who genuinely wants to be with you and working on building a solid relationship with JUST you.
Know your worth, babe, then add tax!
Check out some of my other posts!
- Set Genuine Personal Boundaries in Relationships to Improve Your Dating Life
- Smart Money Moves In Your 20s and 30s to Have A Richer Future
- Hate Your Job? 9 Helpful Tips for Staying Sane
- A Solo Trip in your 20s: 7 Awesome Reasons You Should Do It!
- F*ck Your Ex Breakup Workbook
Keep glowin,
Kay 💖
dating advice relationship advice staying happy staying sane
Rg says
Okay question! What if it’s been more than a month of talking and video chats/calls but he hasn’t said he likes me yet. Do I just ask if he does?
Kay Zane says
I would! Just like casually bring it up. I’m all for being a straight shooter. He might be shy but my philosophy is that if I guy likes you, you will usually be able to tell. He probably does like you if he has been talking to you everyday!