I was in a long-term toxic relationship so I know how hard getting over a bad breakup can be. Your emotions are all over the place, your self-esteem is low and you have to accept that you’re single again!
Lucky for you, I finally got through my breakup and saw the light at the end of the tunnel so I can share all the things that helped me move on. People take different times to heal but these tips will definitely help anyone with getting over a bad breakup.
If you want some guided help, check out my Forget Your Ex Breakup Workbook to reflect on the relationship and start looking forward!
Feel all the Feels
Feelings fucking suck. That was my motto for a very long time after my breakup. I did not let myself break down after my 4–year relationship ended. I pushed all my negative emotions deep down and carried on with my life.
Can you say big mistake? HUGE!
You have to face your emotions after a breakup and allow yourself to be upset. I know this is obvious to a lot of people but I had to include it because it wasn’t so evident to me.
It is okay to be sad about your breakup even if your ex was a garbage person. The relationship was still a loss for you and for that you mourn. When you try to skip over the mourning period, you carry those feelings around with you and they will damn sure try to surface again and again.
So cry. Eat the ice cream. Stay in bed. Drink that wine. Allow yourself to feel the intensity of your emotions.
Delete the texts and photos and reminders
There is an air of finality that comes with deleting someone’s pics off your phone. You’re literally erasing their face and memories from your life. When things are over, seeing your ex’s face in your camera roll can be painful so don’t put yourself through that shit.
Get rid of any stuff they have at your place ASAP. Get it back to them, throw it out, donate it, set it on fire and watch it burn…lol whatever you do just get rid of all reminders of them.
Seriously, I hate ex’s that use getting their stuff back as an excuse to reach out to you a month later. So just do yourself a favor and do the “belongings exchange” sooner than later.
Give up the idea of “closure”
I had the hardest freakin’ time with this and I still do. I want the person who hurt me to explain themselves and answer for their crimes! After my breakup, I felt like things went unsaid and I wanted answers as to how he could treat me so badly. But honestly…what would that really help?
He knows that he hurt you, girl. The relationship is over. Asking him all the why’s and how’s and who’s and what’s isn’t going to make things any better. I learned this golden rule long ago and it has helped me avoid much pain: Don’t ask questions you don’t really want the answers to.
Ex. “Why did you cheat on me?!? Who was it with? When? Where? How?”
Like, bitch, what is he really going to say?? That he just didn’t care enough about you to be faithful? No, it’s just going to be some bullshit excuse. You may think you want the intimate details of whatever transgressions he committed but you really don’t.
You don’t need to talk to him for closure. Leave all that drama behind, create your own closure by slamming the book shut yourself and move forward.
LEAVE YOUR EX IN THE DUST! DO THE 30 DAY BREAKUP CHALLENGE!
Your relationship may have ended badly but you can still find meaning in it. I do think people come and go into our lives for a reason and you can grow with each experience you have. You will find inner strength and resilience while getting over a bad breakup.
What did you learn from being in the relationship? What are your red flags for the future? What kind of person are you in a relationship? How do you want to be treated?
Change your thinking that your relationship was a waste of time and think about it as a life lesson. You just earned another stripe! Pain and difficult situations often lead to some serious personal growth.
So as the great Ariana Grande says, thank u next. You may not appreciate your ex but you can appreciate the lessons they taught you.
Make up your mind that things are 100% over and be stubborn about that fact. Don’t secretly hope that you are getting back together. Don’t stalk his socials and try to see what he’s up to. He no longer concerns you, b.
We spend so much clinging on to guys who really don’t deserve us instead of moving on and opening ourselves to better opportunities! Whether that be new friends, experiences, or love connections.
Don’t miss out on something new and wonderful because you’re desperately holding onto a bad relationship. If things between you were good on both ends, the breakup would not have happened.
Remind yourself every day that you’re a boss bitch who doesn’t need a man and will be absolutely fine without him.
Healing is a continuous process
Understand that healing takes time and you may not go from depressed to completely fine. You’re going to have good days and bad days. It’s all good! That’s human!
I used to get mad when my ex would pop in my head but sis that’s okay! Don’t be hard on yourself if you’re fine for weeks then randomly have a day when you’re really sad.
People tend to think that healing and moving on means that everyday has to be better than the last. In the future, even after you have moved on, something may remind you of your past relationship and make you sad.
Don’t beat yourself up about it like “ugh, I should be over that already!” Don’t worry about how you “should be” feeling and accept your feelings whatever they may be.
Start making plans
Listen, girl, it’s ok to be sad for a bit but no man is going to keep you down forever! The perfect time to start pouring some extra love and self care into yourself is after a breakup.
Adopt some new self-care practices and make time to reconnect with old friends or to make new ones!. Have some fun! Don’t mope around for months. It isn’t good for the soul.
For me, personally, my breakup was the kickstart I needed to start my online business journey. Instead of obsessing over the breakup, I put all my energy into researching, learning, and experimenting with online business ideas.
Start thinking about where you want to be in a year and layout some goals to make it happen. Travel, start a new hobby, go out more, build your empire. Remind yourself who the fuck you are and then show up for that person.
Sad for months because of a guy?? AS. IF.
After a breakup, you should allow yourself to grieve the loss and release the feelings you’re experiencing. But within a week, you gotta get out of bed, pick yourself up and be strong. Life goes on, honey boo, and you know that there are bigger and better things for you out there!
Start focusing on you. And pursue things that make you feel happy and fulfilled.
Chase your glow,